Debutante

I think my world’s gonna turn upside down yet again. After ditching me some ions ago, JC called.

“I’ll make it up to you..” he says.

He comes to my life. I go crazy. He leaves. I go crazy. I would swear I’d never be stupid. He comes back. And…

I’m practically all mush.

Went to Costco right after my volunteer duties to get some croissants and muffins for the welcome home breakfast galore I’m planning for my dad when he comes home from Texas.

No free samples today. And I was hungry like hell. So right after, I rushed to the food court and got me a Very Berry Sundae, and oh man, it was the best thing I’ve ever put in my mouth this summer. I don’t know if it’s the hunger or the goodness of it but I enjoyed it.. though I couldnt finish the whole thing because it became all liquid-y over time and was a little too disgusting to eat.

So the whole undertone of this entry is that I haven’t lost any fats yet (I think I’ve gained a couple more actually). It’s really hard to follow up a regime especially if I dont have a definite schedule everyday and so my eating patterns are a bit irregular.

And fucking fuck. There’s this swim/ hangout thing tomorrow. Double trouble. Because 1.) there’d be lots of food and 2.) I’m gonna be in my bikini and I dont want people to see me inflate right before their eyes.

Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Woke up way too early today. My dad was flying to Texas for a business trip and he’ll be gone for a week, and he wanted me to go with them to the airport. I feel sucky because I pretty much hauled my half-asleep self into the car and slept all the way through without even giving him a goodbye kiss. Man, I felt so guilty especially because I’ve been looking forward to his leave so I could go out more. Tsk. Bad kid. Bad.

I’ve officially paid for all my classes for college. Well my mom did and it’s not like it had cost us a fortune. But I feel like this is the most I’ve accomplished in the summer — to have finally get my classes together. I remember as my family and I were driving off the Korean restaurant we ate at after graduation last June that for this summer my goals were to: at least master 2 piano pieces and read at least 2 books.

Goals. They seem pretty tangible then.. but now, I’m just tooo damn lazy to follow through. And it’s August already. It seems like the whole month of July just swooshed by. And I’m no 2-piano-pieces-accomplished, 2-books-read person. I’m just a huge blob of laziness and fat.

Okay okay.. I know people are gonna go, “but Rina, you’re not fat.” But I am fat! I’m not completely okay with it — but I’ve accepted it as a fact. This may be a psychological eating disorder or whatever you want to call it, but I’m resolved to shape up.

No starvation this time. I’ve the rest of the summer to slim down. My dad just got this elliptical exercise (shit, I’m growing dyslexic too! It took me a minute to figure out how to spell exercise!) and I have a pool in my backyard. I NEED TO SWEAT out 5 pounds of fat!

That’s my goal before this summer ends. Five pounds to shed.

I’m 121 lbs right now.

I’ll be 116 before September.

Hay. Sana nga.

I really meant it when I plead for your calls, people.  The fam and I went to San Diego today to chill with some family friends and I inadvertently forgot my phone at home. All the while I was in San Diego, I was worried that people might’ve been calling and of course I wouldnt be able to answer and they’d have the impression that I’m a snob.

Ten minutes ago when I got back home, I dug in my bed for my phone, flipped it open, and to my dismay found out that no one called. No one. Not even the blocked-caller dude who said he was my fiance. Not even the guy I’m sorta talking to right now. Not even the guy who wants to hang out. Not even my girl friends. No prank calls. No nothing. I flipped my phone open and it was just my lone wall paper.

Sad, aint it?

I’ve been getting some phone calls from this blocked number since last week. It’s one of those you-pick-up, then no-one-talks-on-the-other-line type of things. For the first couple of times, I thought it might’ve just been honest mistakes to accidentally punch in my digits but after a while it felt a little weird.

This morning — I dont know if this was the same person — I got a call from a blocked number.

“Hello?” I said as I flipped open my cell.

The guy on the other line hesitated but mustered: “Hi, is Roberto there?”

“There’s no Roberto here. Sorry, buddy.” I was gonna hang up when Caller XYZ apparently still wanted to chitchat.

“Well, what’s your name?” he asked.

“Sir, I don’t think I need to disclose my name to you.”

“I’m just asking what’s your name?”

“Why?” I said a little bit irked and a little bit amused.

“To love you..”

“What the fu–.. What?”

“To love you.. I’m your fiance..”

“Haha.. Mister, there’s no Roberto here. You have probably dialed the wrong number. Sorry,” I said and hung up.

What a weirdo, I thought to myself. Wow. I actually like getting phonecals from people. Not complete strangers, you know, but new acquaintances. I like talking to people who I barely know on the phone because I feel like I’m starting up a good friendly relationship with a clean slate.  And it makes me feel special that people actually call me to say what’s up or whatever.

I’m not really a phone person. I’m not a caller. I don’t normally call up people just to say wassup — unless 1.) you’re a family; 2.) it’s an emergency; 3.) i have hidden agendas/ i need to ask a favor; or 4.) i like you and you haven’t called me yet and I’m desperate.

Aw man. I think that’s a bad thing to not keep in touch with people. I mean I dont mind talking on the phone. I love phone calls and gossiping and stuff but I guess I hate insinuating the talk. I always feel like I’m barging into people’s spaces when I call so I’d rather not.

People, if you have my number, feel free to call. My phone ceased ringing since last week (except of course that weird caller) and I’m in dire need of a phone buddy.

Bridget Jones never fails to make me happy. — Or maybe it’s just Colin Firth? Haha.

I think I’m having another off week, so I’ve been keeping myself busy these days to at least not feel miserly and fat at home. I’ve been going to the mall and around town to see what’s up with everyone. My mom just filled my tank, so I get to go around. I only panic when my gas tank is 3 quarters empty anyways.

Oh, today I went to El Camino to take a Chemistry placement exam. On my way back to the parking lot, I noticed this huge scratch on my sideskirt (again). I sort of half-knelt down beside it and examined the damn scratch. All the while I’m thinking: “When the fuck did this thing happen?” No, I wasn’t crying yet, but I was pretty damn close to bawling until I saw these dried flowers on the back seat of the car.

“Wait a minute,” I thought to myself. “I don’t have dried flowers — HAH!”

It wasn’t my car!! Haha. Man. I felt more stupid than relieved. Tsk.

In times like these.. In times of single-hood.. I only rely on my car. It’s my boyfriend, you know. I love it. I love it. I mean, come on. It’s inanimate - yea - but it’s always there when I need it, it has never stood me up. My car is just as ideal as any other human specimen - it even has a stick.

Alright alright. That was a sexual innuendo. Haha. Hmm.. Maybe watching Bridget Jones didn’t really help me with my inner conflicts of singlehood and stuff. Gah. I’ll meet my Mark Darcy someday.. I just got to wait…

But fuck it. What is taking him so long?

I saw Pretty in Pink (the movie) the other night and really liked it. I’m a nut for all those romantic movies so it shouldnt be a surprise if I say that Pretty in Pink became one of my favorite movies (right next to Bridget Jones, Closer, etc..)

Molly Ringwald’s character is so honest; it’s so refreshing! Blane (the main guy) asked her: “You don’t lie, do you?”

“No,” she replied. “I don’t have to..”

I was moved. Whether we admit it or not, we’re all liars and deceptive creatures. Or at least I am — at times. And I wish I could be honest with everything — what I really feel, what I want, what I want to do, what I say devoid of all the bullshits I come up with everyday.

Anyhow, I was so inspired by it that I began thinking of ideas for an innovative and original love story. You know.. Something that was never done before — or at least something that’s not too cliche-ed  in movies nowadays..

And I came up with this storyline.

Get this:  BOY X and GIRL Z are engaged and are set to marry in a couple of weeks.. The conflict comes when BOY X confesses that he has had a gay relationship in the past. Turns out that he was gay - or bisexual at least. So how would GIRL Z take it? Would she back out of the wedding? Would their love be strong enough to surpass this sexual orientation issue?

I’d really love to see a movie with this plot.. We see romantic movies tackling social classes all the time.. But what about this? Well..

My mom’s been bugging me to do something productive with my time for the last 2 days.. She wants me to volunteer somewhere and put my energy and fatass into good use. Sounds like a fine idea, no? But I’m too damn lazy to go and apply myself. Plus, the only place I’d be willing to to go is the public library.. I’ve volunteered there in the beginning of the year. I love the library though working there can be such a bore. I did the most monotonous tasks of putting the books in alphabetical order and shelving them too. I tell you, I’ve learned all my alphabets WELL when I was through with my hours.

Something still holds me back from volunteering there. I’ve already mentioned I used to volunteer there, right? Well, back then, I met this guy who works in the library and we became friends. Little did I know that he has a girlfriend who is a little nuts in the head who apparently got a hold of my honest friendship with her boy and so she wrote me this letter warning me to get away from her man.

As much of a joke at it seemed, I couldn’t stop myself from telling her off. Was she fucking with me? Was she serious? “Don’t overreact. Your boyfriend isnt exactly Brad Pitt..” I told her.

Anyway.. the Nut Girl didn’t stop with the hate mail. She started volunteering at the library to better guard off her boyfriend. Luckily for her, my hours were completed and I was finished with my library duties the week before she started.

And last week I went to the library and yep, she was there. I don’t think she recognizes me anymore. I saw the Boyfriend and said “Hi,” but he was cold towards me.

“Oh, your girlfriend works here now, huh? I forgot..”

I wanted to add: “kupal ka! parang wala tayong pinagsamahan! ANDER!”

For the sake of the kind-hearted, anti-innuendo readership of my blog, I won’t translate that. It’s too graphic. But if you’d really wanna know, comment me and I’ll gladly translate it for you…

Anywayyy… since my summer’s been extreeemely bore-some and I’ve been running out of things to do for mere diversion, maybe I should volunteer again.. and wreak havoc, and spice up my library and summer experience while I’m at it.

::Insert evil laugh here::

I dont mean to brag — but I can say that I’m a pretty damn good cook. Eating is one of my hobbies so it’s fitting to say that I cook, of course. How else can I quench my own Epicurean lusts? I can’t always pig out especially if you know the extent of my stinginess.

It was not long ago when my friend Sang treated me to some good Korean bibimbap. It’s basically rice cooked in a stone pot topped with various veggies such as (sauteed in sesame oil) cucumber, carrot, radish, and beef, and egg too doused with this chili paste. OOOh. It was sooo good. So, today, just like one of my weird impulses, I decided to cook my very own bibimbap.

I went over to this fabulous Korean supermarket and got me my ingredients.

And guess what, it turned out to be a success! Haha..

You can drool if you want..

Damn. I can see I’m gonna be a good wife.